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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Thoughts Are Racing in My Mind

Go! Go! Gooooooo!!!! This is me the past 2 weeks. Some days I am completely on autopilot. I have to "fake it til I make it" and I am trying hard. The only problem with all of this is I have MS. No, really, I do. You do know what this blog is about, right? (Well, I still have my sense of humor.) Yes, I am funny. I thought it was funny. Maybe I'm crazy instead of funny? Hmmmm, ...oh well. There are worse things to be in life.

Back to my thoughtful race. I have this "Family Game Night" fundraiser that I created to support the NMSS. It is in 3 days. Wait. 3 days? THREE days? THREE DAYS!!!!! Argh!!! ok, breathe. It will all be okay. I know in my heart it will work out. I have to have faith. This year will be my "learning experience". I am keeping track of what I have done this year that I don't want to repeat and things I will change or leave the same.

It's the not knowing that is getting to me. Will people come? Will kids come? Will they have fun? Will too many people come? What if we run out of food or what if we have too much left over? Will I embarrass myself? Will I do the NMSS proud? I hope so. I am trying. I really am.

Nap time doesn't really fit into my schedule when there is so much to prepare. I'm not behind. I'm actually on schedule with what I need to do. It's just that B*tch, MS keeps coming around and trying to make my legs buckle. She wants my hands to shake and my words to slur. She wants me exhausted & in bed. I keep telling her "no.", but I can only hold her off for so long. Clearly, she isn't taking the hint that this is not the time to mess with me.

Truly, though, what the heck can I do to her. She IS Multiple Sclerosis & my only method of attack right now is to ignore her. I don't want steroids, but that usually puts her in her place. My MS Yoga can usually hold her off a little longer. Drinking my water does too. There are some things I can do, but finding the time right now proves challenging.

I know I need to slow down & I am trying. I don't want to leave for my getaway to Cropping Daze Scrapbook Retreat and be exhausted. I want to enjoy my time there. So I am asking for more help. I am getting my butt in bed earlier this week. I am trying to make my health a priority. If I don't, who will? No one knows your body better than yourself. So while your thoughts go racing through your mind, add the one about putting your health first, or at least put it in the top 5 on your priorities list. Besides, no one will win the race in your mind. It's on a continuous loop, so make a pit-stop & relax!

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