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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Clear My Mind

Well, the last month has been full of stressful events within my family. My daughter came home from school with head lice...TWICE! Awful! Awful! Awful! Oh and not to mention humiliating. I've heard it all. It's not my fault. It happens to lots of kids. Lice only like clean hair. It is really hard to get rid of. And they are like finding needles in haystacks. All true. Still sucked!

I spent days and countless hours, not really, I counted them. 19 hours the first time and 17 hours the second time. I did nothing but pick eggs out of her hair while her & my son watched movie after movie. We only stopped to eat meals and sleep. I don't recommend the experience to anyone. However, I feel I am an expert now. And while I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy...there are a couple of people I secretly hope get to experience this next year. I say next year so that enough time has passed that they cannot blame it on us. Terrible, I know, but there are a couple judgemental people who may or may not have made me feel like a horrible parent. Maybe they can see that is not the case? Oh, well that is up to fate or Karma or whatever decides these things.

So during this time I was exhausted and extremely stressed out. I did manage to keep it together with a lot of patience, but broke down twice when I hit my breaking point. The reason I mention this is some of my family/friends feel that ANY stress will cause me to flare up or cause a relapse. It didn't. I had to find time to take care of myself and during the head searching I really couldn't. But I did whenever I could and I "crashed" afterwards, but I did not flare up or relapse.

There is no way I will be able to avoid all stress. It just isn't realistic. I am a wife, a mother, a working person, a human being. Stress is part of life. I do avoid it when I can. And if someone is causing me stress that I feel is unnecessary or ridiculous, I will simply avoid them. But there are things that are unavoidable.

I love my family & friends for wanting to protect me, but I am not fragile. Please know that I will take care of myself when I can and sometimes my body will decide that for me. The people who stress me out because of their own agenda I have pretty much eliminated from my life or I avoid them when I can. I don't have room for unnecessary drama in my life. I refuse to flare up over others selfishness.

As for my family and friends, tell me what I need to know, don't censor yourselves. You know I will find out eventually and then I will be hurt that you kept me in the dark. Treat me like the person you love and care about and I will do the same. If I can't handle it, I will tell you. The doctors do say to avoid stress, but shouldn't everyone try to do that the best way they can?

Also, last month I injured my shoulder while delivering papers. I throw samples on Sunday morning. I usually stack some bundles behind my driver's seat. While I was reaching behind me I pulled up at a weird angle and ...OUCH!!! Well, I didn't really think much of it and felt it would pass on it's own. But it began to become more bothersome. I was able to go away over Memorial Weekend with my mom and we had massages. I asked the masseur about my shoulder and she felt it wasn't "quite in the socket". She worked on it and it felt a little better. Then a week later, I was shampooing my hair and I felt something kinda "SNAP". And my shoulder blade and neck seized up. I couldn't turn my neck or lift my arm up all the way. Not good. I tried heat & ice to no avail. I finally saw my dr. He said I have severely strained the rotator cuff. He put me on anti-inflammatory pills and advised me to ice it and do some exercises. If it isn't better in a week, he wants to do an MRI to see if I actually tore the muscle. So this is day one of caring for the shoulder. Fingers crossed I hope that it heals. I don't need a new issue.

Summer vacation starts tomorrow and Dave & I will be adding a patio to the backyard so we can get our porch swing. This way I can be outside with my family this Summer. The heat is my second nemesis, the stairs is my first. Heat makes my symptoms worse. It makes me feel almost like I have the flu. Lightheaded, nauseous, weakness and fatigue. It sucks, so I prefer to find a way to avoid this. They have "cooling vests" for people with MS. I may look into that as well. This Summer, I will find a way to relax and clear my mind for my own sanity. Happy Summer to all!!!

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