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Monday, April 5, 2010

B-B-B-Brain F-F-Freeze

Been a busy month for me. After my visit with Kelly, she ended up in the hospital with her own bad, bad flare-up. I rushed up to Grand Blanc to visit her and the stress of that week and the worry pushed my beginings of the flare from the previous week into overdrive. I actually was pretty good at hiding it overall, but by Saturday, March 20th, it escalated pretty badly.

I had symptoms that had not been there before. I took my daughter to her First Communion meeting and while we were there my right hand began trembling. My body has the "inside tremors" quite often, but normally no one can see them. This time my hand was visibly shaking. My legs were very weak, and even though I had my cane,I was resting my hands on Kristina as well to keep balance. My brain was very "foggy" and I couldn't think clearly. I did my best to keep it together for her and finally it was time to head home.

I was supposed to pick up lunch on the way. I was feeling a little out of it still, so I handed Kristina the money because it didn't "look right" to me, even though I knew it was. I told her to hold it so I wouldn't make a mistake. From here I proceeded to drive home. I was almost there when Kristina says, "Um, Mom...what about lunch?" I said, "Oh, no!" And turned the car around. She said, while shaking her head back & forth, "MS again." So we started to drive to get the pizza. She said, "Mommy, your voice sounds funny." I said, "I just wan-wan-want to g-g-go h-h-HOME!" I couldn't talk. Stuttering and slurring. I was a little scared. I accessed the situation when we left the church and knew I was okay to drive, but I just wanted to get there. My instinct to protect my child was there, so I knew she wasn't in any danger. I definitely would have called my husband if I thought otherwise.

So we got the pizza and headed home...again. When we got there, Kristina immediately told Dave I was talking funny and that I almmost forgot to get lunch. I showed him my hand too. The weekend when Kelly had been here, I had a few instances where I had trouble swallowing food. This comes and goes for me without warning. Some people with MS experience this regularly, but so far it is sporadic. As we sat down for lunch, the swallowing problem re-appeared. I didn't eat very much because of it.

I spent the rest of the day trying to take it easy, but it didn't help my symptoms subside. Earlier in the week, I began having to crawl up the stairs to get to the top. When I went up to bed that night, as I was trying to get up to stand, I fell over in the hallway. I tried to laugh it off for the kids, and Dave didn't see me fall, so he thought I was just laying there after I crawled up. Needless to say, I knew a fall is never good. After that, I began going down the stairs on my butt. My legs were so weak I was afraid I would fall down, so this was a safer option.

The next morning for my paper route the cognitive issues were still there. I was talking on the phone to two of my "newspaper" friends and they noticed right away I was struggling to complete thoughts or get words out. When my Distract Manager showed up to help me with my route, I knew I sounded bad. I appreciated the help. I felt like an idoit when I spoke. I couldn't think of words or complete sentences or thoughts. It was scary to know that you are an intelligent person and your communication goes out the window.

I continue to go up and down the stairs this way. I have had a couple random moments where I can walk normal on the stairway, but they haven't lasted. I feel like I am getting to the end of this flare-up. The cognitive/brain issues have subsided. No more consistant stuttering/slurring and brain is clearer. But the physical symptoms keep coming and going. I start to improve, but then the fatigue, pain & weakness return. I keep hoping it'll pass on it's own. Scary enough to worry me at first, but not so bad that I want to do steroids again. I see the neuro in May, so I will mention this episode then.

I also, have to mention this itching I get on my bottom eyelid of my right eye the day after my shot. It never goes beyond that, but I'm gonna mention it in case that's a problem. Hope not, cuz I'll be out of shot options then.

I went to visit Kelly and her kids again last week and she gave me 2 of her old canes so I can have one for the car and one for upstairs & downstairs. Both are pretty and fasionable! I am a stylin cane walking girl! Even if I have a B-B-B-Brain F-F-Freeze every now and then!

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