Pierce of Mind

Well, I did it! I gave myself my first injection. And it didn't even hurt :) Yeah! So basically, the nurse came to my house (an hour early I might add) and I was so nervous. I felt like I was going to throw up or jump right out of my skin before she arrived. She came in and we sat down at the dining room table to discuss what we, or I, was going to do. I had taken the ibuprofin an hour before, so I was set on that. I had been drinking water all day too. She told me I should start the water the day before, the day of and the day after to put off the flu-like symptoms in the future. She discussed with me how to piggy-back ibuprofin and Tylenol to first put off aches and pains, and second to put off the fever and chills. Dave joined us at the table to be supportive and in case I needed his help. I'm sure he was hoping I wouldn't. So then she brought out this little leather puncture pad. It looked like the side of an old style punching bag sliced in half & mounted on about 8 inches of wood. This was my practice leg. We undid our syringes, hers for practice, mine for the real thing and assembled them. (I took mine out of the fridge that morning to bring it to room temperature.) Then we set them down (still capped) and she asked if I had a sharps container. I did. She told me to check with the city on how to dispose of them or I can take them to my local fire department. (Interesting. Maybe I will see my brother-in-law, Alton, about that :) Maybe.)

So then the instruction began. The injections should rotate on the thighs, starting right/side, right/top, left/top & left/side, all in the upper most part of the thigh to minimize any pain. She told me it wouldn't even hurt. I was a little skeptical, but hoped she was right. She told me to hold the syringe like a pencil and push it into my skin confidently, then push the medicine in with the plunger. Scary... So, she showed me a few times on the practice "leg" and then I practiced a few times too. She told me to take as long as I needed. I asked who had taken the longest for her to practice. She said an older man had taken 2 hours. That he just kept saying, "just give me a minute" and then he would panic again. She said the lady she trained before me looked like she might pass out. I sure felt that way, but I had a 7 year old and a 3 year old watching me. Oh, yeah, they were there, like little voyeuristic hawks. So I kept practicing, for another minute or so, but I realized that was making my anxiety worse. I needed to just do this now or I wouldn't be able to, so I said as much to her.

Then she instructed me to open up some gauze for after, then I opened the alchohol swab to clean my thigh and picked up my syringe. I poised it ready to push it in and ... ... said, "ok, wait a minute." She told me to take my time. Then I see Kristina like 6 inches from me, seriously, I had to ask her to back up, and knew I needed to be especially brave. I took a deep breath and pushed it into my thigh. No pain. I pushed in the medicine. No pain. I pulled out the syringe, slight poke of pain, nothing really. I put down the syringe and used the gauze for a little blood and I was done. Simple. Yeah. Medicine in, anxiety gone.

She told me that the symptoms, if I got them, and she insisted I wouldn't, could come on in as little as two hours and as much as 8 hours. She gave me a journal to record when I gave myself the shot. To write down my feelings about it and to record any symptoms I get. Also, to record any questions, etc. for the dr in July. She got ready to leave, looked at her watch and said, "Wow! That was fast! You were my easiest patient today." We were done in 20 minutes. I felt a little proud about that.

She left a little after 2:00pm, and I started experiencing some tiredness around 5:00pm. By 6:00pm, I was a little nasaeus and achy. I was asleep by 7:00pm. This morning, 3:30am, I still have the nasea and a slight headache, both of which have lingered throughout today. However, considering what I was expecting, it really wasn't that bad. Some of the side efeects I have read from other patients, included violent chills, exhaustion and fever up to 104 degrees and painful muscle aches. So the slight discomfort I felt, I can live with. Now, I just wait to notice the day to day improvement. I had a little more energy this morning, but that seems to be fading. But no overnight miracle here. Dr. Beall said about a month for a return to normal, so again I will rely on my patience and positive attitude to get me through. I will let you know how my symptoms progress. As of right now my injection is offering me some "pierce of mind". ;)