B-B-B-Brain F-F-Freeze

Been a busy month for me. After my visit with Kelly, she ended up in the hospital with her own bad, bad flare-up. I rushed up to Grand Blanc to visit her and the stress of that week and the worry pushed my beginings of the flare from the previous week into overdrive. I actually was pretty good at hiding it overall, but by Saturday, March 20th, it escalated pretty badly.

I had symptoms that had not been there before. I took my daughter to her First Communion meeting and while we were there my right hand began trembling. My body has the "inside tremors" quite often, but normally no one can see them. This time my hand was visibly shaking. My legs were very weak, and even though I had my cane,I was resting my hands on Kristina as well to keep balance. My brain was very "foggy" and I couldn't think clearly. I did my best to keep it together for her and finally it was time to head home.

I was supposed to pick up lunch on the way. I was feeling a little out of it still, so I handed Kristina the money because it didn't "look right" to me, even though I knew it was. I told her to hold it so I wouldn't make a mistake. From here I proceeded to drive home. I was almost there when Kristina says, "Um, Mom...what about lunch?" I said, "Oh, no!" And turned the car around. She said, while shaking her head back & forth, "MS again." So we started to drive to get the pizza. She said, "Mommy, your voice sounds funny." I said, "I just wan-wan-want to g-g-go h-h-HOME!" I couldn't talk. Stuttering and slurring. I was a little scared. I accessed the situation when we left the church and knew I was okay to drive, but I just wanted to get there. My instinct to protect my child was there, so I knew she wasn't in any danger. I definitely would have called my husband if I thought otherwise.

So we got the pizza and headed home...again. When we got there, Kristina immediately told Dave I was talking funny and that I almmost forgot to get lunch. I showed him my hand too. The weekend when Kelly had been here, I had a few instances where I had trouble swallowing food. This comes and goes for me without warning. Some people with MS experience this regularly, but so far it is sporadic. As we sat down for lunch, the swallowing problem re-appeared. I didn't eat very much because of it.

I spent the rest of the day trying to take it easy, but it didn't help my symptoms subside. Earlier in the week, I began having to crawl up the stairs to get to the top. When I went up to bed that night, as I was trying to get up to stand, I fell over in the hallway. I tried to laugh it off for the kids, and Dave didn't see me fall, so he thought I was just laying there after I crawled up. Needless to say, I knew a fall is never good. After that, I began going down the stairs on my butt. My legs were so weak I was afraid I would fall down, so this was a safer option.

The next morning for my paper route the cognitive issues were still there. I was talking on the phone to two of my "newspaper" friends and they noticed right away I was struggling to complete thoughts or get words out. When my Distract Manager showed up to help me with my route, I knew I sounded bad. I appreciated the help. I felt like an idoit when I spoke. I couldn't think of words or complete sentences or thoughts. It was scary to know that you are an intelligent person and your communication goes out the window.

I continue to go up and down the stairs this way. I have had a couple random moments where I can walk normal on the stairway, but they haven't lasted. I feel like I am getting to the end of this flare-up. The cognitive/brain issues have subsided. No more consistant stuttering/slurring and brain is clearer. But the physical symptoms keep coming and going. I start to improve, but then the fatigue, pain & weakness return. I keep hoping it'll pass on it's own. Scary enough to worry me at first, but not so bad that I want to do steroids again. I see the neuro in May, so I will mention this episode then.

I also, have to mention this itching I get on my bottom eyelid of my right eye the day after my shot. It never goes beyond that, but I'm gonna mention it in case that's a problem. Hope not, cuz I'll be out of shot options then.

I went to visit Kelly and her kids again last week and she gave me 2 of her old canes so I can have one for the car and one for upstairs & downstairs. Both are pretty and fasionable! I am a stylin cane walking girl! Even if I have a B-B-B-Brain F-F-Freeze every now and then!

Two MS Peas in a Pod!

Sorry it's been so long since I posted last. Overall, since my flare~up in the beginning of February, I have been..better. The steroids definitely helped! I have some MS symptoms on & off, but to me that is "MS normal".

I have been making lots of friends on the MS Facebook page. That has been such a Godsend! It is my own little support group 24/7. I can ask questions, I can give support or receive it, and most of all I can laugh with people who truly understand what I am going thru. I'd like to say completely without judgement, but there are always those kind of people no matter where you go. Overall, the friends I have made are some of the most AMAZING group of people I have ever met! I truly have found some lifelong friends and it makes such a difference. In general, I'm a pretty positive person. I certainly am not going to let a little thing like MS change who I am in my heart, but this site has even made ME cheerier!

Most of you who know me, know that I am blunt, honest, positive person and a HUGE flirt! I will be a wonderful friend if you'll have me. I will pick you up when you are down. I will tell you exactly how it is and tell you how to make it better, whether you like it or not. I love with my whole heart and if you hurt someone I love...you better watch out! I have compassion for most people & situations and will find the brightside of anything. I love to play devil's advocate to help myself and others see the both sides. And I have a good sense of humor. I will declare how funny I am at least once a day. I will face any challenge head on and will not give up. This is who I am, take it or leave it.

I have made many friends in my lifetime and because of the "mom" to everyone I am, I attract many friends who take more than they give. But I love them anyway because it is who they are and I know they love me too. But recently I met my new friend, Kelly. She is NOT this kind of person. We are the same. We have the same sense of humor, the same outlook on life, the same heart and we are the same kind of friend. She is beautiful, funny, caring, more positive than you can imagine. With every challenge that tries to knock her down, she pops up faster than a Weeble! She and I have become "fast friends"! I never knew what that expression meant until I met her and we connected. With every passing day, every conversation, every supportive word we became closer. I joke that I fell in love with her, but it isn't a joke. I do love her with my whole heart. She is the kind of friend to me that I have always been to others. It is the perfect give & take friendship. Her having MS like I do, although different types, helps us connect that much further. I am so blessed to have met her.

She came to visit over the weekend and it is like we have always been friends. We talked for hours and still need more time. She is like visiting Vegas or Walt Disney World, you have to keep coming back to experience everything. There is just too much to cover. I was feeling pretty poorly this weekend, but I didn't care because my friend, Kelly, was here and I wasn't gonna allow MS to steal my joy! Thank you Kelly for being my friend. For blessing my life! For being you!

MS brought Kelly to me because without it, we never would have met. If this is one of the prices to pay for a friend like this, I guess having MS isn't so bad. I said before that I believe everything happens for a reason. That I needed to be patient to find my reason. I believe that MS lead me to this site to be a friend and support to others struggling with MS. I happy to be that support for others. I am a born "mom"! Who knew that my reward for being a friend and a "mom" would be this beautiful woman to become my friend. Thank you, God! I am happy and even though I have MS, and even in this very moment, I feel terrible...no one can tell from the smile on my face! We are two MS peas in a pod...Look out World!